Here is a great scenario for you to look at:
Tom and Lisa have been married for over 10 years and they have children together that are all in elementary school.
When Tom got hurt on his job and was laid off, he was unable to find work that paid well.
Since his kids were all in elementary school and needed that extra care, he decided that he would stay home and take care of them instead of seeking new employment.
Lisa had a great job as a boss in a very established company, so she was able to make a good living and had enough money to support her entire family.
Lately, Tom has become antsy and decided that he would like to learn new skills but in order to gain these skills, he would have to complete a few college courses to renew his certification.
Tom wanted Lisa to pay for these courses.
Lisa had a “black and white” mindset, and she put her money where she thought it was needed and refused to pay for Tom to take the classes.
Tom felt that he was in a bind because he had no money saved and Lisa had control of all of the finances in the home.
In order to make his dreams come true, Tom would have no choice but to get a part time job to pay for his classes, if Lisa did not agree to give him the money.
Tom decided that he would not let his emotions get the best of him and that he would choose to negotiate instead of arguing with Lisa.
He used his negotiation skills to ask for Lisa’s help one more time:
“If you are not able to pay for me to take the classes to get my certification, then I am not going to be mad or make you do this. Instead, I will get a part time job so that I can pay for the classes on my own. Remember though, you will have to take my place at home while I am at work and while I am in class.”
Lisa realized that it was inconvenient for both her and the kids for Tom to work and try to get his certification classes, so she decided to pay for his classes instead of him getting a job.