Having No Interest in Your Partners Desires or Needs
This hostile pattern can often times be found in relationships where one person is in control of all things in the household.
They are in control of the finances, in control of the family decisions and in control of all things that happen.
When this behavior happens, there is usually one person that has desires and needs that are “important,” while the other person’s desires and needs are insignificant.
Below are some examples that show a hostile pattern of communication:
“When we go to your friend’s house, I spend all of my time sitting on the couch by myself while you and your friends laugh and have a great time. I feel weird when this happens. If we just go out to the movies instead, we can both have fun, not just you.”
“Every time your parents come; I have to stop my whole life to take care of them. They take up a lot of room and they complain about everything I do. Last time they were here, they didn’t even offer to buy food and you know we are on a budget…
…I don’t want them to stay here this time, why can’t they stay with your brother? Oh, by the way, my parents are flying in on Wednesday and they haven’t had a vacation in a long time. I am asking them to stay with us for a few weeks. It is going to be so much fun!”