Abandonment in the Relationship
It is hard for someone to feel like they are not important or that they are being abandoned.
This is especially hard when the person that is abandoning you is your partner or your spouse.
Most people worry about being abandoned or rejected and this is sometimes used as a tool in a relationship for the other person to get what they want.
Imagine this: the wife wants to take a trip or have a couple of days to escape the reality of motherhood.
The husband knows that this is going to be a super busy week at work, and he makes a sad face and says to her:
“Taking care of the kids and the house is a lot of work. I am not sure that I will be able to handle that and my job this week because it is going to be super busy this week with the boss in the office. I’ll be super tired after this, so I’ll need some time to myself to rest.”
Instead of continuing the conversation, the husband leaves the room.
The wife feels bad that she decided to try to take some “me” time.
The husband chose to use guilt to get what he wanted instead of trying to negotiate a better plan.
Even though guilt may work for your favor every time, it can hurt the person both emotionally and self-consciously. I
t is important to make sure that you do not make your partner or spouse feel guilty or giving them a “what else” ultimatum.
When you choose this type of communication, you are essentially abandoning your spouse by choosing not to negotiate fairly.